Packaging the Hurt

Recently I was attempting to unpack a heavily-wrapped box, starting to get frustrated at the multiple layers of padding, tape and other packaging acoutrements meant to “protect” this product from intruders. In fact, I was beginning to get angry at how difficult it was to get this package unwrapped. Then I stopped to think about how anger is much like a tightly-wrapped package, all bundled up in many layers with beliefs and assumptions and misinformation all woven around fears and hurt. And our reaction to anger, sometimes indignation or righteousness, sometimes a belief that we deserve to feel it or own it, is because it’s too hard to get inside it, to understand it. When we peel back the layers of the package, we begin to see the product, or in the case of anger, the underlying disappointment or pain that precedes the manic wrapping we do to hide our deep feelings.

Wrapping packages tightly is useful only if you’re sending something postal. Try not to cover your hurts like a child wraps scrapes abundantly in bandages. In the case of emotional pain, the more visible is the hurt, the more easily it can be noticed and fixed. Covering it leads to denial, more pain, and then anger. Put the tape away.